How to Talk to People About Jesus

I’ve been in the Christian ministry since I got out of high school and I have been trained in how to talk to people about Jesus, and today, I realize that all of these efforts in all their various styles were not correct. I will tell you how I talk to people about Jesus today. Maybe it will work for you, too.

What’s wrong with the old ways?

The common thread that runs through all the previous methods that I was taught about how to talk to people about Jesus, is that the methods were approached from what I call “spiritual arrogance,” which is referred to in Christian mental health issues as spiritual narcissism.

Spiritual Narcissism

Spiritual narcissism is an arrogant state of mind that assumes that the person who is delivering the message is superior to every person that you are communicating with. The status of an inflated ego will make the delivery of any message more difficult to receive by anyone who would have an open heart even if they would benefit greatly from the message you are trying to deliver.

Spiritual arrogance or narcissism is offensive and will put any listener on the defensive. Here are the things that will cause someone’s heart to close down, making the delivery of your message fall on deaf ears:

    • Bragging about your spiritual or religious endeavors.
    • Using your faith or spirituality to manipulate others in order to improve your religious status.
    • Communicating with a condescending attitude, passive-aggressiveness, and/or defensiveness.
    • Pointing out flaws and errors in personal or religious areas of life.
    • Telling someone that they are wrong, and they must do what you (or the Bible says) or else.
    • Asserting that you and your view of God are right, therefore everyone else is misled.
    • The assertion that this or that is black-and-white.
    • Overburdening a non-believer by quoting 2,000-year-old text (the Bible).
    • Avoiding personal responsibility, “It’s not me, it’s God.”

I’m sure you could think of other things to add to the list, but you get the idea. As much as you are trying to relate to this person, you cannot do it, if you’ve caused them to disconnect due to your delivery method. Check the body language, they stiffen, lean back, reduce eye contact, and after the eye roll, you’re done. You have lost before you even got started. To keep going, after the receiver has already shut you out, is equivalent to narcissistic abuse.

Debate and Intimidation

I know, back in the day, bullying people and overwhelming them with data, scripture, and the threat of burning in hell could result in a conversion to your idea or belief and truth. Today, debating and over-powering someone is not effective. You cannot intimidate someone to give their life to God.

Just stop it.

How to Talk to People About Jesus

This is so simple, but if you are used to outdated methods of manipulating or persuading someone to convert to your idea of what God is all about, you may have bad habits that you will need to break before you can effectually communicate with another human being heart-to-heart.


Heart-to-heart communication is the only way to truly reach out and connect to another person.

To do so, you must,

    • Let go of any expectation of an instantaneous conversion.
    • Love them with the level of love that Jesus would have.
    • Make it about the person you are talking to. Don’t make it about you.
    • Seek to listen to them, then understand where they are coming from.
    • Use scripture sparingly and paraphrase it in your own words, this increases relevancy.
    • Use your religious experience and words sparingly.
    • Let your life be your testimony. Let them ask you why you are different.

Avoid doing these things at all costs. Do not:

    • Judge them or try to hold them responsible for believing differently than you.
    • Be critical about their current lifestyle.
    • Offer them your perspective or advice unless they ask for it.
    • Overwhelm them with TMI “too much information.”

That is a lot of ground to cover in this brief presentation, and it can be extremely hard to change the way you approach others about something that you are so passionate about.

Let it be known that it is not working the way that you’re doing it now, and you’re probably doing more harm than good.

I often see people and try to support them to recover from what they call, “spiritual abuse.” Don’t be one of the perpetrators of spiritual abuse, or risk being labeled a spiritual narcissist. Don’t let this happen to you.

How I Do It

I guess I just live my life and love everyone like I think Jesus would. I am a big fan of Jesus and I think he just loved everyone. It didn’t matter who they were, where they were on their life’s journey, or even if they had a questionable character in the past. He just loved them.

That’s what I do, in the work that I do when I meet with people. I no longer try to get them to fit in my world, I do like St. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 9 (22), “I am become all things to all men, that I may by all means save some.” and that works for me.

It works for them because they are inviting me into their world. They are never defensive, always open, and I never judge them. It’s a real connection that we share. It’s that heart-to-heart thing. The added benefit for me is that I get access to the most interesting information that they wouldn’t tell anyone else. I am blessed just to be there.

Try it. You might like it.

If you are interested, you can take our free course, “How to love others like Jesus.”


Church as Sanctuary

Based on our commitment to answer to a higher calling and maintain the separation of church and state St. Paul’s Free Church considers offering sanctuary to those in need.

In recent years, undocumented immigrants have sought safe haven from churches and many churches have answered the call to provide sanctuary to these troubled people who have fallen through the cracks of our increasingly dominant government forces.

Does “sanctuary” actually exist? According to law, the idea of sanctuary does not exist in this country, yet the authorities do adhere to policies to avoid to create a scene at religious institutions, though this is more of a gentleman’s agreement or avoidance of creating harsh sensationalism which would not fare well in the media for the government agency who storms a church to drag out a defenseless mother and children.

Some churches have gone the extra mile to attempt to secure more separation of church and state in the type of entity they are registered as to operate within the borders of the United States of America. The general line of thought is that if the church is registered as a non-profit religious organization, this includes an agreement with the state to allow law enforcement to access the grounds if they possess a legally signed warrant.

Most Catholic and other churches are registered as a religious corporation sole, which reportedly offers more separation from church and state, allowing them more ability to protect the idea of sanctuary than other types of legally registered religious organizations.

Unfortunately, the corporation sole type of organization has come under scrutiny by the feds, specifically the Internal Revenue Service, as criminals were using this type of corporation to hide income and assets. States are being pressured by the feds (IRS) to limit or eliminate corporation soles in their states. Currently, only 7 states allow the creation of this type of religious corporation.

Over the years, the rights of the church have deteriorated but the church did see some relief with the passing of the Religious Freedom Restoration Act (H.R.1308) which became public law no. 103-141 on. November 16, 1993 states:

“Prohibits any agency, department, or official of the United States or any State (the government) from substantially burdening a person’s exercise of religion even if the burden results from a rule of general applicability, except that the government may burden a person’s exercise of religion only if it demonstrates that application of the burden to the person: (1) furthers a compelling governmental interest; and (2) is the least restrictive means of furthering that compelling governmental interest.”

Regardless of the type of legal registration of the religious entity, law and immigration and customs enforcement (ICE) honor a respect of churches to allow a level of service and assistance to individuals, though no law exists which prevents law enforcement from breaching a church’s perimeter to arrest any offender. Likewise, if the law approaches the clergy with a properly issued warrant, it is highly likely that the church will reluctantly though respectively allow access to the presenting arm of the law.

How Does Sanctuary Work?

How does sanctuary work in terms of undocumented immigrants?

The church has an open line of communication with professionals serving the immigrant community. An immigrant rights or lawyer contacts the church regarding the individual at risk. If the individual meets the basic criteria of the church (for instance, no criminal record or whatever criteria the church might agree to) a member of the church will volunteer to sponsor the individual, then the church can go about providing services or sanctuary to the people in need.

Some churches have more resources to provide to certain types of sensitive immigrants than others. It needs to be a good match to work successfully for the provision of humanitarian aid to the people who are in need. In most cases, the assistance provided by the church is supportive, temporary, and transitionary in nature.

President and Reverend David M Masters of St, Paul’s Free Church insists, “It is our sacred responsibility to represent God Source Energy which supersedes all manner of life with respect to all other forms of life in this world. We take precautions to honor our higher calling, to answer to God’s law over the law of man.”

It is important for people who seek sanctuary at a church to understand that it does not preclude they’re being apprehended by law enforcement. The church will do everything they can to provide sanctuary understanding that law enforcement may elect to override the respect for religious sanctity under conditions relating to public safety, national security, or terrorism.

Masters says, “Every human deserves respect and dignity. It is not right to separate families, especially those with small children. For some reason, our current administration cannot see how this will affect these young people as they become adults. There is great confusion about which is the greatest crime.

“It is the charge of the church to minister to those in need, to avail ourselves to all people, including undocumented peoples.”

St. Paul’s Free Churches offer open membership or participation in church ministries to all regardless of immigration status and fully support the preservation of the family unit.

~ Rev. David M


About Us

Founded on September 11, 1989, St. Paul’s Free Church was the coming together of ministers from different faiths in an effort to create a truly nondenominational church. The founding faiths included Episcopalian, Disciples of Christ, and Pentecostal, a fairly diverse coming together of extremes, later joined by Roman Catholic and Orthodox Judaism to round out the rough edges.

The original churches were located in Portland, Gresham, Salem, and Eugene Oregon. Then churches splintered off to find their own niches, while St. Paul’s Free Church remained the nondenominationally focused core, remaining independent, and tolerant, welcoming all who dared to attend.

Setting a new standard for nontraditional freedom of faith within a single organization, St, Paul’s Free Church sets a new standard of freedom in worship and service spanning a wide spectrum of styles and combination of doctrines.

St. Paul’s Free Church as an inclusive faith-based church continues to tear down the walls and empower ministers and servants of all types to embrace their God-given strengths, talents, and abilities to further serve the greater good and make the world a better place.

Leading others in integrous freedom of expression and speech while encouraging them to take spiritual responsibility for their own lives while discovering and following their own path.

St Paul’s Free Church, a God Source Energy church, promotes higher education, science, and healing to empower believers to share their spiritual gifts in love for a better world.

Currently, St. Paul’s Free Church is in the process of returning from a sabbatical and is in search of participants to serve as the new re-founding members and ministerial staff.

If you are willing to put your denominational weapons down and serve God and the world at large in a greater, more tolerant way, contact us for more information on how you can be a part of this growing phenomenon for God.